It took a while...

It takes me a while to learn. Probably longer than most. Then again, I am a quick learner when it comes to sports and dance and learning lines. But I am talking more in terms of life. I will make the same mistake a couple of times until it gets to me. I feel like I am constantly searching for something to show me what path to take because I feel like the world is offering so many different things to me at the moment. I want to be a great actress, but what does that mean? I want to be a sick dancer, but how do I show it? Dancing around in class only does so much. And then I really think about it and I understand. I am 21 years old. I graduated from a college environment earlier than I would have if I went to a four year university. I grew up quite quickly. At my choice and my discretion but still, it doesn't mean that I know exactly what I am doing. The opposite. I am constantly changing my mind, learning new things, evolving, wanting more, wanting something else. I guess that never goes away, well I hope it doesn't because that is what drives me. That need to constantly create new obstacles and lessons for myself in order to grow and create a life. I guess I sometimes wish I could be successful right this second and grow and evolve as an independent strong successful woman. Coming from the middle east where that is not extremely common, that is why it is so important to me. I want to be that woman that our culture steers you away from RIGHT NOW. I almost can hardly wait to just be her. But why do I not know how to? I work hard, and am always busy with things, yet I am not at that place.
What is so funny. is that independent and successful are two words I always misspell.